Tag Archives: NLP

Shifting Relationships

A brief video describing a simple life hack that expands your world of choice with relationships. Includes enabling you to:

  • turn a situation around
  • improve your understanding of other people
  • access your inner wisdom
  • reconnect with your own feelings and needs
  • Freshen up your thinking, feelings and happenings
  • ….. and more

Compelling Outcomes

Compelling: having a powerful and irresistible effect
Outcome: a conclusion reached through a process of logical thinking

compelling outcome mindmap.

Prime your mind.

Ask yourself: what do I want? Be specific. State positively – express whatever you are drawn towards, attracted to (NOT what you are wishing to avoid or trying to get away from).

  • What do I want?
  • What do I want it to do?
  • Where do I want it?
  • When do I want it?
  • Who do I want it with?

Imagine what you want to achieve as vividly and completely as you can. Bring it alive in your mind. Engage all your senses. When you achieve this outcome, what will you see? what will you hear? what will you feel?

Write it down – in words and/or pictures and/or as a mind map – any way that works for you. Say it out loud – maybe, record and playback. Review it, refine it, polish it until you are happy with your creation.

Bringing it alive in your mind fuels your Reticular Activating System (RAS). Your RAS is a part of your brain that primes your subconscious mind to bring relevant information to your attention. Suitably primed, your subconscious will notice something that may be of interest to you, potential opportunities to further your desire, and make you aware. You choose what to do with that information, obviously.

Elucidate: make clear
Validate: prove, confirm, verify, substantiate

Validate and Elucidate – ask yourself:

Do I have all the resources (tangible and intangible) that I need and/or can I get them? Resources to think about include:

  • knowledge
  • beliefs
  • time
  • money
  • things
  • people
  • role models (including yourself)

Is it achievable? If it can be done, I can do it.

How will I know that I’ve achieved my outcome? What will my evidence of achievement look like, sound like, feel like? What are my measures of success?

Will it be worth it in terms of:

  • time
  • effort
  • relationships
  • consequences

Is it in my control? Can I authorise or arrange everything I need? Are others involved? Can I establish a win-win?

Ecology check – if I could have it now, would I take it? For a thorough ecology check (is it right for me) please take a look at the notes in “Costs and Consequences – Ecology Check“. This will also help to intensify your inner sense of what you want (making it even more compelling).

separatorQuite a few years ago, an acquaintance recommended a weekend’s ‘Introduction to NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming). One of the things that NLP talks about is a ‘Well Formed Outcome’. I have to admit, the very words ‘Well Formed’ (accurate, but dull) did not inspire me, at all. Then, the NLP expert used the phrase ‘Compelling Outcome’ – and that lit my fire!

I use compelling outcomes to free my mind, gain clarity and validate intentions and expectations. A compelling outcome is a fun, engaging, thought provoking and effective way to, prime my mind, get clarity on intentions and check things out before I throw myself into something.

I think of a compelling outcome as a scene setter, closer to a movie trailer (not the full movie).  I am not simply watching the movie trailer – I am in it, centre stage, the main character. Every time I rehears/replay my part, I gain a little more insight and add substance. As a trailer, it has all the drama, excitement, milestones and story line. It provides a baseline to measure against – things to tick off as you move along (and I do love ‘the power of the tick’).

For me, a compelling outcome lights a beckoning beacon for the matter in hand. I am drawn towards achieving it. It sets the scene. It engages my RAS so that my subconscious will bubble up things to me when my conscious attention is elsewhere. Handy, that, don’t you think?

To capture the vividness of a compelling outcome I favour using mind maps (thought provoking and easy to draw … and redraw … and reshape). Armed now with a cheap voice recorder, I fancy I’ll also take to saying it out loud and playing it back. During the process of mapping or speaking, I can feel my hesitation, the unknowns clamouring for my attention, the train of thought invoked and so on. These techniques help me to capture my key thoughts relatively easily (and during the process, it doesn’t matter if there are blanks – I can fill them in on the next iteration). Glancing at my captured key points on the mind map, or listening to what I cared to have said, triggers my mind to replay my compelling outcome movie trailer – or its latest revision. I can replay and edit that trailer any time I choose, obviously.

Sometimes, even when I have primed my mind with a vivid outcome, I may find that, well, nothing happens. I find that I am reluctant to act. Quite often, this can be because I was a bit, well, lazy with the “elucidate and validate”. I think that may be because I fear that such disciplined thinking may tarnish my lovely, vivid movie trailer. OK, I know that’s stupid, but I think it may be the truth. When caught up in this situation, I have a go at the “Costs and Consequences – Ecology Check” to try to reveal what’s behind my inaction – what’s stopping me.

When I pay attention to creating, defining the most vivid of compelling outcomes then, somehow, it oils the wheels of my making it happen in reality.